You are not supposed to know how to do this.
Your parent is dying. Or it's your own diagnosis. Or the grief never left. Nobody trained you for this. That is where I come in.
Not sure where to start? Read what a death doula actually does
THE GAP NOBODY NAMES
Hospice comes to your house one or two times a week. That leaves the other six and a half days to you.
Nobody tells you that when you sign the paperwork. You find out at 2am when your mother's breathing changes and you don't know if that's normal, or when the hospital hands you a folder of forms and no one to call, or when your sister asks what you're doing about the funeral and you realize you haven't slept in three days and no one has asked what you're doing about you.
You are the capable one. You always have been. That is exactly why no one has offered to help. I am not here to take this from you. I am here to walk in beside you and tell you what to do next.
WHAT I ACTUALLY DO
A death doula is not hospice. A death doula is not a replacement for medical care. A death doula is the person who sits with you in the parts hospice doesn't cover: the planning nobody explained, the vigil when it's finally time, the hour after death when you don't know who to call first, the legacy work that has to happen before it's too late to ask.
I coordinate care. I hold vigils. I help families plan a death that reflects what the person dying actually wanted. I sit in the room when things get hard, because I have been in that room before and it does not scare me.
See the full range of support →
IF IT'S YOUR OWN DEATH YOU'RE PREPARING FOR
Maybe it's not someone else you're caring for. Maybe it's you. A diagnosis has changed the shape of your future, or you're watching yourself change in ways that make you want a say in what comes next while you still have one. Or maybe nothing is wrong yet, and you're simply the kind of person who would rather plan with clear eyes than leave it all to chance and to the people you love.
However you got here, you don't have to wait until you can't speak for yourself to start. This is where we talk about what matters to you, what you want the people around you to know, and how to build something meaningful while you're still here to shape it. Early planning isn't giving up. It's making sure your voice is the one that guides what happens.
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO ASK FOR HELP
Somewhere along the way, you learned that needing help meant you weren't handling it well enough. That's not true here. Every family deserves support at the end of a life, not just the families who can afford to fall apart.
A limited number of sliding scale spots are available for families navigating financial hardship. Reach out directly and we'll figure out what's possible together.
GRIEF DOES NOT FOLLOW A TIMELINE
You may be grieving before anyone has died. You may still be grieving six months, two years, ten years after the funeral, long after everyone around you has quietly stopped asking. Both are correct. Grief is not five stages you move through and finish. It is a relationship that changes shape but does not end.
If you feel like you should be over this by now, you are not broken. You are grieving someone you loved. That takes as long as it takes.
Grief support and rituals →
COMMUNITY, LOCALLY
If you're in Hood River or the Columbia River Gorge, you don't have to find your way to me through a search engine at midnight. I show up in this community in person, in ordinary places, before anyone needs a doula.
Free educational events at the local library
Grief support groups, every other month
Death Café, Columbia River Gorge, every other month, no agenda, just honest conversation
YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW WHERE TO START
If you're standing at the edge of this not knowing whether you need a consultation, a class, a support group, or someone at the bedside tonight, that's normal. Most families start with one small thing.
Free Consultation — Thirty minutes, no cost. Tell me where things stand. I'll tell you what your options actually are, and you'll leave with a next step, not a sales pitch. → Book now
Monthly Caregiver Support Group — Free, virtual or in person. A place to put it down for an hour with people who understand exactly what you're carrying, because they're carrying it too. → See the next date
End of Life Planning Guide — $47. A self-guided way to understand what's actually coming, the decisions you'll face, and how to prepare, before you're in the middle of it. → Get the guide